Myself

How much I hate myself...
...for all the mistakes I commit...
...the carelessness I can't seem to stop...
How I dislike my ways...
...how can such a person as I be called responsible?
How can anyone depend on me so freely?
...it makes me hold myself...
I have to be me...a better me...
...change is all I must welcome
however cold it is,
however hot to the touch,
however much I sink into myself,
I must change...
and change for the better...
I am the Captain,
I will do better.
I will be...

~written this day for no other reason than just because...